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Coming Out

When you start to notice

that the Universe is Seducing you

and you shrug off that first outer layer

of business to notice how you are being

made love to,

*

It is simultaneously delightful and

a bit overwhelming.

As are most things of orgasmic surrender,

conception, and birth.

SMS-2-3-09

This post has been in the works for over 2 months now.  In part, this is because of the rawness and the tenderness of the experience which I seek to express in words.  Some of it is the very sacred nature of it, and the risk I feel to, well, talk about sex in public.  That’s the mystic’s work.  Experiencing divine union, depth of longing, and then living as if that mattered

*

weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  there’s something moving.  and it is good.
sorta like sex
only more universal
coupling and uncoupling
in an orgasmic frenzy
of divine
mess.

*

I understand, now, why the mystics like Rumi, Hafiz, even Hildegard and Teresa d’Avila and the like wrote of their experience of God in highly erotic terms.  Why Mirabai wrote of the terrible longing she felt for union with Krishna, God and her lover.  In my own healing, embodiment, and energetic awakening, I’ve had glimpses at the very sensual, highly charged, lusty presence of the core of the Earth.  It is a sense of vitality, life, and connective union is directly connected to the possibility and fullness of aliveness that each of us can inhabit.  Since my retreat time in August, where I first felt the pressure of the Earth seeking divine penetration into the core of my being, I’ve recognized that while reaching to Spirit, opening to Source above, listening into the vastness of the Unmanifest universe as it wants to be made manifest on earth, it is the totality of manifest creation (of which we are also a part as spiritual beings having a human experience) that seeks divine expression through us.

Different shamans and mystics suggest seducing the sacred like a lover, to call Her in like a doe from the field or beckon Him in like the hero just returned.  And now I realize, in what I’m starting to call, the Seduction of the Sacred, the Sacred is courting me (courting you, beloved) as well.  I was momentarily troubled by this.  And then I remembered, I, too, am the Sacred.

“The Time will come,” writes poet Derek Walcott, “when with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door…”  Even as I am learning to allow the Sacred to seduce Me, I’m looking at the person who is arriving.  I’m looking within to see Who might be coming to me.  I’m preparing space to invite Someone who is already there to come in, be in, stay in my life an ever present partner of this divine union, wearing human clothes.

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott (in Sea Grapes)